Wayne Lowell Johnson
Best Dad EVER!
My father died a few weeks ago after a very long and hard illness. I've had to practice that phrase so it doesn't cut me like a knife every time someone says that word. I am still in such a place of sorrow, but I believe God's promise that my dad is in heaven with Him and all those who have gone home before him. I miss my dad more than I know how to express, but I am so happy for him that he has a perfect existence now. Well, I am working on being happy...it's a process...my brain knows this, but my heart still wishes he were here...that is a little selfish I know...but a very real part of the grieving process. I've been combing through all the photos I have, trying to find as many..ANY photos I have of he and I together...I need them right now...there doesn't seem to be enough. I'm sure there are more...I just keep looking and looking.
I've studied the bible my whole life, my father was a bible scholar, but when I came home from saying goodbye to what I knew of him on this earth I was haunted by thoughts and fears about what happened to him, where is he now...exactly? Is all I've ever known and believed about Christianity true? I was really afraid and unsure. These are normal feelings by the way. I didn't know that at first. I wanted to share that with you, and I hope you will share it with someone who may be going through something similar.
The answers I need are in the bible. I am sometimes clouded by all these thoughts and fears and the tears that seem to be constantly in my eyes. I couldn't find in scripture what I so desperately needed to see and read again. I went to visit my preacher and asked him to walk it through with me. He gladly sat down and for hours he showed me scripture after scripture. It's interesting that scripture that I have read my whole life came more clear as we studied them together that day. He told me something I will never forget..."You are able to see these things with clarity now because your life experience has made you open to see what God intended" How awesome is that! God is so good!
Did you know that we will know everyone when we get to heaven? Read Matthew 17:1-4 - It's when Jesus took Peter, James and John (His brother) up on a high mountain where he was transfigured and Moses and Elijah appeared. Peter knew it was Moses and Elijah...they had already gone on; they had their new heavenly bodies..how did he know them?....hmmm...interesting, and comforting! I will see my dad again someday in heaven!
Luke 16:19-22...specifically vs. 22 - "...So it was that the beggar died and was carried by the angels to "Abraham's bosom..." another comfort for my heart to know! I know my dad wasn't alone for a second when his soul left his body...he was carried by angels!
I John 3:1-2 " Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, beause it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is." We have the promise that we will have a new us. No more bodies that fail!
There were so many scriptures that my preacher shared with me. Some telling us what happens when we age, some about how Jesus is waiting, some that confirmed that we are headed for the promise God gave us as Christians who walk according to His word. His grace covers us, our hearts determine our direction...so many assurances, and my mind was at ease. Now I just have to let my heart catch up.
I love you my dad. You have always been and always will be my father. I cherish your memory and your wisdom and will remember you all of my days. You live in my heart...always and forever...
Daughter Me