Until dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's it never really dawned on me that a person could have more than one horrible disease. I know, but that is the way my brain works in these matters. And, after the Parkinson's on top of the Leukemia there was the Lymphoma. I don't hold much stock in time frames; mainly because my brain works on events in life rather than WHEN it occurred. I don't know how long dad lived with the last two horrible things. A year? sigh...The point is he and mom handled it together beautifully, considering what they had to walk through. They got to stay together for nearly 50 years, and home together all the way til dad went home to heaven. I am glad they got such a long time together; which really is so short in the grand scheme of things. Still, longer than so many have together. Much longer than I will get with my husband as we married later in life. Such is the way things go. This bothers me though, that my time with my husband is way shorter than I wish. This is my brain. It has been a good thing, however, because I see so clearly and live now so clearly what God expects of me; that my husband be first only after God.
("Family Dynamics" Elizabeth Seaver; a blogger friend)
It is in this change that I began to be truly introduced to the concept of BALANCE. It's always been there; this balance thing. It's always been a part of life...but, it wasn't until my father died that I began to be intimately acquainted with it; and understand life doesn't work well without it. It's been chasing me around for many months now, and has, I believe, finally caught up with me. This BALANCE thing demands of me, and if I don't give it what it wants, I will loose my effectiviness in many areas of life. I found these two photos demonstrating balance...one seems calmer and more in line with what we would want; see if you can choose the one that I'm talking about. One side works...it fills the space with serenity, where the other looks as if it is about to topple over. Both are balanced, but one looks as if one more thing were to be added the whole world would topple. I've been living the one on the right...SCARY!
Ephesians 3:1-8 is a passage that is familiar, but about setting up a balanced life. "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace." AND so, if there is a time for everything, then there must be a way to balance it all. It only makes sense!
How do we find this Godly balance? Well, Matthew 6:33-34 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Sounds like a good place to start every day! And, that is what I began to do in earnest. I woke up everyday praying that I have wisdom for the day, praying for everyone in my family that was hurting from this loss, praying, praying, praying...and thanking God that I KNEW He was there...and IS there.
So, FINDING balance can be hard; we can be blown about by every wind at first if we aren't
My dad has been gone for nearly a year, and I miss him still, SO MUCH. I still feel a stab in my heart when I think of him, I still cry at the most unexpected of times, I've NEVER noticed just how many holidays we really have until I began to count the "first holidays" since he died. It sometimes feels like it will never end, and then, on the other hand, it feels like time is moving too quickly...there is MUCH I want to do and be before it is my turn to go to heaven...See how my life began to be out of balance? See how I came to this post about how to find balance?
I haven't totally gotten there yet; I am still struggling, but I'm on the right path, I'm going to get there if I keep my eyes on heaven and what my God has asked of me...That's the only way...I hope you can begin to find that Godly balance that will make your life here AWESOME!