I have had several ask me to write on this topic of Godly Friendships and what we as Christians are supposed to look for in friends, and who is NOT friend material for someone who would want to live a Godly life. This photo is a little blurry...kind of like how we feel sometimes on this subject!

First I want to share a few scriptures on friendships...what does God say?

Proverbs 27:9 "The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense" 

John 15:13-15 " There is no greater love than to lay down your life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn't confide in his slaves.  Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told Me."

Proverbs 12:26 "The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray."

Proverbs 20:6 "MANY will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?"

Proverbs 22:24-25 "Don't befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them."  WOW, those are strong predictions!! This speaks to the image at the beginning of this post...

OK, there are a bunch of scripture on friendships. We've all heard most of them in our lives at one time or another.  What kinds of advice is given in just those scriptures above? Notice key words or phrases associated with friends that our Lord speaks of..."heartfelt counsel", "laying down your life for a friend", good advice","don't befriend angry people", "reliable".  Some good advice, but I think we can go a little deeper.

What kinds of friendships are we as Christians supposed to have...what kinds are we supposed to avoid...and why?  WOW...a huge topic!  Let's try to make it simple for this post...if we goes...

If we can agree that our reason for being here is to praise and worship our God, Luke 4:8 " Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Worship the Lord your God and serve Him only"  be like Jesus, I John 2:6 "Whoever says he abides in Him ought to walk in the same way in which He walked" and, try to bring as many with us to heaven as we can during our "visit here on this earth. The great commission:  Matthew 28:18-20 "Then Jesus came to them (His disciples)...we are His disciples by the way...and said "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." THEN we have some guidelines; reasons for making Godly friendships and why friendship with the world is not in our best interests.

IF we are to worship God and only serve Him but we have friends who constantly pull us in another direction we are in trouble from the get go! Read James 4:4 "You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God." Really...what does that mean? Friendship with the world...doing things that are worldly, NOT Godly. Obviously, if it is NOT GODLY, then He is not going to like it...and we become  His enemy.  Remember we've already had the example of hanging around hot tempered people, and the danger we face of becoming like them...Reason would suggest that this principle applies with all other ungodly behavior. ie...behavior that is NOT what God would have us do.

Walking in Jesus' footsteps means we need to follow His example; live like He did; DO what He said to do...and if we are hanging with people who do not walk in His footsteps; ie; not doing what He says, there is the danger of being influenced by the world. We are in danger of becoming like them.

AND, if we follow the command to bring others to Christ...teaching...saving HOW can we do that if we are seen by the world as just like them? Come know what I am talking about...participating with them in ungodly happens...we know it does...:)

I have been told when talking about this subject that I am being judgemental of others, that I am NOT being like Christ as even he ate with tax collectors, and that it is a sin to judge. I hear the point some try to make.  I would say to people who say this to me that I, in no way, am judging whether these people are better or worse than me, I am not saying they are going to hell (which IS judgement), I am not saying they are evil and wrong and I am so great!  Oh my goodness, NO!  I am merely trying to find God's advice on who is best for me to make my closest friends, and why God gives guidelines on the matter.

As you have guessed, this is a BIG topic that is best explored in stages...This is stage number one...We have talked about what is said about friendships, what our reason for being here on earth is, and have touched on some things that can happen if we are friends with the wrong people.  The next post will delve a bit deeper into what God says on the topic of friends and who we should make our close friends of.  I hope you can stay with me!!



We all have done it, right? It's no big deal...a little white lie, right? I'm not hurting anyone...what they don't know won't hurt them, right? There are worse things, right? What I say is none of any one's business, RIGHT?

Can't you just hear the modern day a time when we seem to be moving back to ME, ME, ME! At a time when we are flooded by technological this and that. So much deception, so much violence, so much of every abominable anything goes...humans tend to become desensitized, and so after all we see and hear a "little ole lie" seems almost like a gift given to that lucky recipient of deception. It "protects" them, RIGHT?... WRONG!

It must seem to some that I am just nit picking...making something big out of something "no big deal".  Isn't that what a liar often uses as an excuse to the one lied to? IT'S NO BIG DEAL".  What does that really mean, "it's no big deal"? Well, since I'm the author of this I'll speak from experience.  It means it is no big deal to the means they want their deception to be overlooked, it means they care more about themselves than they do about the recipient of the "gift" of protection from the "ugly truth".  Oh how the liar tries to excuse their behavior...

The truth of the matter is there IS NO EXCUSE. And further, it is a sin that needs to be corrected, because the TRUTH of the matter is the collateral damage of a lie is HUGE so much of the time. It breeds mistrust. It shakes the reality of the one being lied to. It can shape the way the innocent party often deals with others, due to the broken trust. It can often have life long consequences.
God hates a liar.

Read the strong language of Proverbs 6:16-19 "there are 6 things that the Lord hates, 7 that are an abomination to Him, haughty eyes, a lying tongue, (oops, that's number two...and for those of you who have been lied to haven't you just seen those haughty eyes from the liar?), and hands that shed innocent blood,a heart that devises wicked plans,feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies (there is that word again), and one who sows discord among brothers.

Proverbs 19:5 "a false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish." This is where we understand that God is going to take care of the liar. It is for Him to decide what the ultimate punishment will be.  HOWEVER, there are natural consequences for a liar on this could mean loss of job, marriage, friendships, but at the very least loss of trust of the person he/she lied to. 

There are always natural consequences in the wake of a lie. Unfortunately the one lied to often lives some natural consequences FROM the one who lied...Let me paint a picture of what happens to a person that has been lied to...First of all, it depends on how close the two involved are...often, the closer the two are the stronger the consequences.  IF the two involved are close...say married or family, the damage can be much worse. WHY?...BECAUSE with the close nature of the relationship there is implied trust, love perhaps...a bond of some sort, and when someone lies it damages those bonds...perhaps even breaks them at least for a time.  Physically the one lied to, that learns of the lie, will often feel symptoms of know, the desire to get away, the sick feeling in the pit of the stomach that signals something is very wrong, blood rushes to your head making it hard to hear, shaking of the extremities, feeling hot or uncomfortable in your body,heart pounding hard. Those are just the immediate...and then the emotional toll...sadness, anger, sorrow, depression, the feeling that everything is somehow out of focus. YES, all effects from discovering a lie.

Colossians 3: 9-10 "do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self which is renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator."

Ephesians 4:25 "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another."

There is more written about lies and their consequences, and how God feels about it...just type liar in your search engine...It's all there...

Being in the path of a lie is horrible. Being lied to is like being slapped in the face, or punched in the stomach. We don't deserve to be lied to, it hurts, it damages!

For the one who lies to someone it is up to YOU to make it right. Be honest, be adult! Don't put another one of your fellow human beings through a bad time because you want to deceive. A lie may have damage written all over it, but the only way out of the harshest of consequences for you and for one you may care about is to make it right by being honest and asking for forgiveness of the one you hurt. Then, and only then will God give you the grace of forgiveness...and, the one you lied to, if you are sincere will be much more able to forgive and move forward. Proverbs 10:9 "The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out."

God Bless