THE NASTY SIDE OF JEALOUSY (is there another side?)

James 3:16 - " For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and EVERY VILE PRACTICE."

Have you ever been the unwilling target of a jealous person or persons? Have you ever felt like you were so attacked or damaged by another person or persons that you just wanted to disappear or just die? Has it damaged you, made you ineffective in your daily life. Has someone elses BAD and SINFUL behavior towards you made you, even for a minute, feel like there is something wrong with YOU? Well, you are not alone! PLEASE don't feel like you are alone! God has plenty to say about jealousy, envy, strife, and other such Galatians 5:19 - "Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

James 3:14-5 - "But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic."

I Corinthians 13: 1-8 "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ... "

Oh my, I could go on...there is SO much in there that teaches us that jealousies, ugliness towards others, ganging up on someone (creates a mob mentality) with a superior attitude is WRONG! Think for a minute if you've ever been THAT person...what is it about you that you hate so much that you would feel a need to downgrade another to rise yourself up? Because that is what happens when jealousy and envy raises up it's ugly head...people go and find others who they can gossip with...come KNOW that is what happens!! and, in case you hadn't figured it out, you were not raised up, but lowered down into a dark place that will be harder and harder to climb out of if you stay there trying to elevate yourself on the broken and soar backs of those you have demoralized. The ONLY way out of the pit you've made for yourself is to let the light shine in...and that is GOD and His commandments and guidance.
II Corinthians 4:6

Can you imagine if YOU were the target for whatever you feel is lacking in YOU? Can you imagine for a minute if people were talking behind your back or being ugly to you about YOUR issue? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? Be careful, because life has a way of coming full circle sometimes and you might just be on the end of someones fiery, evil stick...being poked at and made fun of...and if it doesn't happen on this earth, what has God said will happen to you? In case you didn't know please PLEASE read Psalms 101:5 - "Whoever slanders his neighbor secretly I will destroy. Whoever has a haughty look and an arrogant heart I will not endure."

So, to the soar at heart I say, GOD LOVES YOU...Romans 5:8 - "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." He is there in YOUR CORNER, shouting in your ear not to believe what these ugly people are saying and doing out of their own petty jealous hearts...He is giving you gifts and blessings to help still and see if you can find might be a new friend who sees the beauty in you, it might be a talent you have that can give you joy, it could be still (Psalm 46:10) and watch and see the blessings God has for those who have been hurt and left and persecuted!
Exodus 14:14 - "The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” (this does NOT mean we can never speak up...see the verse later, these were words spoken when Moses was freaking out when Pharaoh was coming after them near the Red Sea, it has comfort doesn't it?)  God is there in YOUR corner...don't lower yourself to the level of those ugly people...remember God loves them too...Ephesians 4:32 - "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." aarrgghh...that's a toughie sometimes...but, it's for OUR good too (forgiviness releases US from being caught in it's ugly cycle)...God is there...HE sees what is happening...let Him be the one who deals with their sinful behavior...Romans 12:19 - "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

HOWEVER...we are NOT called to continue to let people wipe their feet on us so to speak, Remember, we have a voice with our brothers and sisters...Matthew 18:15 - ""If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over." We are not guaranteed that this person will see the "error of their ways" and be sorry, but at least we know that God gives us a voice!

So, FIND that blessing God is offering you, has already given you, is wanting you to find...HE will never leave you nor forsake you...Deuteronomy 31:6.  Find a sense of humor if you can...laughter does soothe the savage beast of sorrow and depression and's a gift from God...and remember, if you've been the target...this is for YOU! tee hee...


WHAT DO OUR HEARTS NEED AND WHAT DO THEY WANT? Is there a difference? WOW, it's just after 5:30 a.m. and I've posed a HUGE question...why on earth did I do that? AARRGGHH!  Well, I wanna know...and I hope I can help someone else as I figure it out...ok, at least I can answer myself a little...let's take a look at the heart...our hearts...I can say for myself that I want to be loved, I want to love, I want to be gentle in my attitude and actions towards myself and others, I want to serve God, I want to be healthy (the physical heart), I want to be kind, I want to be treated kindly, I want to be able to express myself honestly and not be afraid of being hurt...OK, there's a list...NOW, is there anything wrong with NEEDING those things as well? WHAT ON EARTH SAUNDRA??...what's with all the theology so early in the morning? I don't's SO early...but, here's what I wanna say...I don't see that it's bad to want OR need those things. I think we DO need them to be able to function properly in this world and to BE as healthy in mind and body as we can be. I can't find any scripture that says otherwise...ok...yay! I think I'm safe in saying that all of you want and need the same things! So, we are in the same boat, k...:) and I think there are lots of us, so it has to be a BIG boat!
SO, the teacher in me always looks for examples in everything I'm studying so I can best understand what it looks like, sounds like, tastes like...well, you get the picture. I did this for EVERY lesson in art I ever taught...well, in EVERY lesson in life I ever want to learn as well...MY example has always been the David in the bible because he messed up so bad but God loved him!...that's what I want, cuz I DO mess up as a human being...yep I do! And, we have consequences for everything we do..some good, and some bad...sigh...they are lessons...if we learn the lesson soon enough our consequences may turn around, if we don't the lessons will keep, I want to learn my lessons as quickly as I can..Hebrews 12:6 - "because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son"
Now wait...before we get too hairy in this one think of your own you not give consequences to them when they do something that is dangerous or wrong? God loves us, and that is the guideline from HIM! and, one final note at this moment before we look at David...REMEMBER to love someone who is suffering a consequence in life...they do NOT need your judgement, they need your gentle, be kind, be loving...they need you most when they are suffering...don't you know that God may not take away a consequence, but He will certainally love you through it...and He will NOT leave you! Deuteronomy 31:6 - "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leaave you nor forsake you." 

And, NOW we can get back to David!

Oh, wait, that's my BROTHER David...
not the guy I meant...however he IS a very
Godly man!

did you know that this is a symbol
of perfection? tee hee
The David of the bible was called a man after God's own heart. Acts 13:22 - "After removing Saul (as king), He made David their king. God testified concerning him: 'I have found David son of Jesse, a man after My own heart; he will do everything I want Him to do.'"This tells me a few things. 1.  God has a heart (which is AWESOME), and 2.  that David; the big ole sinner that he was; was a man after God's own heart...This verse gives me great comfort. David killed a husband so he could have his wife...he committed adultery...but still he was given such a great honor as being in God's heart! WHY? Well, it's BECAUSE of David's heart! He had faith (read about his actions in I Sam. 17), he loved God's law (Psalm 119: 47-48: - “For I delight in your commands because I love them. I lift up my hands to your commands, which I love, and I meditate on your decrees.”, he was thankful (Psalm 26: 6-7), and he was repentant as is described in Psalm 51: 1-2 where he asks God for forgiviness after what he had done; read II Samuel 11-12 for the story of David and Bathsheba. and 3. A good heart is important for us in life and with God. and, part of the requirement of having a heart after God is that we DO everything He wants us to...(yep, had to slip that one in)...:)

Why am I REALLY writing this? Well, heart stuff is important, and it's nearly Valentines Day which is a good time to remember we need to care for our hearts and the hearts of those we love. I've had my heart broken into pieces on a good number of occasions in my life. I know we ALL HAVE! When it happens it is scary, and it physically hurts as well as emotionally, and it makes us feel alone...and those are horrible things to feel! One of my biggest scary things is to be alone and afraid...and also to know that someone I love is alone and afraid. I HATE THAT! I want to fix it immediately...and sometimes I can't. Life often takes time to work things out...sigh...yep, patience is also required when we are alone and afraid and our hearts are broken. AND, the best thing I can think of to do is to find comfort in a God that LOVES ME and imagine that He is right there holding me! I pray for the peace that passes understanding (a present He gives His children) REALLY WORKS if you allow Him to give it to you...Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in EVERY situation, by PRAYER and PETITION, with thanksgiving present your requrests to God. And the PEACE of God, which TRANSCENDS all understanding, will guard your HEARTS and your MINDS in Christ Jesus"

 The side effect of having broken hearts and living through it is we get a little stronger each time. I think it is because we have gained that bit of wisdom to know that "this too shall pass"...aarrgghh...not happy with it at the time, but I am old enough to see in resrospect that the sun does come up and we do get another chance at another day to learn and grow from our pain. The worst thing you can do is to give in to it and give up...this only leads to more of the same down the road...pain, fear, feelings of despair...the ONLY way out is UP! Get UP, look UP and pray, find ways to stay UP as much as possible...and that means looking for blessings where you can (we ALWAYS have them...just sometimes we have to look harder when we are in pain)...and a big ole cure for what ails you is to be kind to someone else...get out of yourself and do some good for someone else...there is ALWAYS someone out there who has it worse than you...sigh...:)
So, let's take this time of year...this ole reminder about love and such...and find a way to be gentle and kind to our own hearts so we can in turn be gentle and kind to someone else...and folks, that ain't just a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife...there are many loves in our lives...friends, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, children...there is SOMEONE that loves you...someone that cares...and YOU love someone and care for someone...FIND a way to let our HEARTS shine inside and out!  Sorry for the silly platitude, but it really works if you give it a try!! We are all in this are NOT alone!



The roles of a woman have been on my mind a LOT of late...Sorry you gentlemen out there...I can speak about the roles of a woman with authority cuz I AM one...I try not to speak for men as they are a totally different beast, so to speak...So, here goes! I am a daughter to Wayne and Joy Johnson, and I am a child of God. Two huge honors right off the bat!

I came into this world a daughter first...I am here because my parents wanted me to be here, and God made me a, daughter FIRST (in this context; yes, I was a girl  What does God say about daughters...well...about being one at one time...

Ephesians 6:1-3- "Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. 'Honor your father and mother' is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, 'so you will live well and have a long life'"

Colossians 3:20-"Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord"

Proverbs 1: 8-9 - "Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and do not forsake your mother's teaching; indeed they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck"

Proverbs 23:22 - "Pay attention to your father, and don't neglect your mother when she grows old"

Proverbs 20:11 - "Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right"

Proverbs 8:32-33 - "Now therefore, listen to Me, My children, for blessed are those who keep My ways.  Hear instruction and be wise, and do not disdain it"

It's pretty clear that even as we begin on this earth we have a job if you will...a purpose, to learn and grow and listen and eventually DO what we learned from our parents and God's Word.

I didn't and don't always DO what my parents and God want/ed me to...that's normal...and, even as a little one, and later an older, rebellious daughter there were consequences when I went against my parents and my God.  We all have those too!  Those consequences...whew...

Isaiah 59:2 "But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear"  OUCH!

SO FAR this is pretty straight what those who are over you, and wiser than you say and it will be better for you...and everyone around you...OK...yep, easier said than done.

Then, MUCH LATER, I became a wife...and, yes, there are scriptures on wives and our responsibilities as well...Read Ephesians5...and Colossians 3.  It talks about our responsibilities as wives in the Lord...Godly wives that is. The message is similar...we have someone that is our head, NOT our BOSS...but the hierarchy that God intended...we have a role to be a help meet: Genesis 2:18.  We are given guidelines on what kind of person to be as a wife...I Timothy 3:11 "In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything" (these are guidelines given for wives of deacons I believe)...but...come on girls...who among us would say "Whew, I'm glad those guidelines don't apply to me cuz my hubby isn't a deacon"...we may want to say it sometimes, but get real...yep, that is something good to aspire to as any wife! We are to dress modestly...I Peter 3:3...and there is more...but this is getting LONG!
 we are NOT slaves!!!

Did you ever notice that being a wife isn't an easy job? Being a kid isn't always an easy job? For me, it has always been hard to relinquish my OWN self to what I was asked to do. I didn't and still DON'T like to be told what to do. It is HARD for me to let ANYONE have any control over me. Perceived or real...I hate it! I feel like something isn't right.  Some of you may not struggle with this, but I had some bad experiences in my life and my first marriage that totally devastated my natural ability to trust another human with ME. It is hard for me, sometimes, to be in the role of a Christian wife.  DON'T GET ME WRONG...I can not find any scripture ANYWHERE that says I have to "do what I'm told" by my husband...there is nothing there that says I am LESS THAN my husband. He is NOT my keeper...he is my PARTNER; meaning side by side in the Lord partner...we owe each other subjection in respect to our places with God. Ephesians 5:21 - "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ".  I am a DAUGHTER OF THE KING...just as he is also a CHILD OF THE that we are's just that someone has to be the king of the castle, and God made it man.  Have you ever seen the end result when two cooks insist on their way in a kitchen, or two managers in one office making decisions the way THEY want? Yep, it can get messy...So, someone
has to have final say...and God gave that to man...BUT, BUT, HOWEVER... He also told man how he is to love his wife...SACRIFICIALLY, GIVING UP HIS LIFE for her...and folks that DON'T MEAN DYING FOR as much as LIVING for her...Ephesians 5:25 - "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her".  When a man loves his wife in that way, he LEARNS who she is, he STUDIES her, he UNDERSTANDS her heart, and decisions are made with that in mind...and he gives her EQUALITY...and in that what woman wouldn't fall all over herself to be a great wife as God said...that would be easy!! whew...if only it were always that way! HA...but, you get my point....I hope...It's a give and take thing...God never intended for anyone to be a slave...not man nor woman (we can ALL get it wrong folks!)...imagine the crazy cycle if we each were always looking out for number one...

Proverbs 22:6 - "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it".  So, we come to our next role in life; MOTHER.  Motherhood is THE most REWARDING and EXHAUSTING job I know of.  It starts out all happy and exciting when we learn we are to be a mother...and then it is scary when we wonder what it may mean, and then it HURTS to give birth, and then it is EXHAUSTING as we give 100% of ourselves to our new little love of our life for a VERY long time, and then it is heart wrenching as we learn to turn off the protective tiger in us to let them go a little, and then it is even HARDER to let them leave home and find a path of their about a skitsophrenic experience...we are to love like God made us to love and then let go and NOT do everything for them at the same time...WOW, that's why we have a zillion books for parents on this very is TOUGH stuff to love hard, and then love as our hearts are ripped out of our chests when we miss them so much as they leave...
and yet, through all of these changes we are strong people...we have to be in order to have as many changes as we women have in life...My mom used to say "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"...well, I heard it from her I hear there are even songs written about it! HA!  It's true...It's all from one passage to another...forEVER if we care what kind of Godly woman we turn out to be...because NOW with all these loved ones in towe we have an obligation to be a good help those who will need to learn from us STILL! Matthew 5:16 - "In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. I know it all sounds so simplistic...say some stuff and then find a scripture...and, in a way that should be a comfort...we have guidelines for life...God didn't leave us hanging out in thin air without a way to get love and instructions and some hugs along the way!  And, it isn't all as simple as I've stated, but you wouldn't stay around for a marathon, I have to simplify some...but here comes the REST OF THE STORY...

yep, we can do it allright...but we also have another side!!!
We are WOMEN!! Through it all we are separate human beings that somehow have to maintain a sense of self in all our roles.  Have you ever felt swallowed up in a role? Or in all of your roles? (and we didn't even talk about the subset of roles that are cook, maintenence people, doctors, psychologists, etc, etc, etc!) It seems, from experience, that we sometimes forget about ourselves and what we are separate and apart from all the other roles; roles we may LOVE, but we forget that we are US too.  And that my friends is not what God wants! We are GIRLS, we are WOMEN, we have, believe it or not, the SAME RIGHTS as do all the others have in our lives...our husbands, our parents, our children, our everyone else's in our lives...we are soft and pretty and sweet and gentle and needy and strong and, and, and...God loves us too...He made us, also, in His image Genesis 1:27 - "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female He created them." That is AWESOME!...And yet, we so often do not see our own value, or help those in our lives to know we have a value set apart from any role we live in...We are PEOPLE that need to be loved, and nurtured, and asked about, and treated special, and NOT DISRESPECTED (I know my english here is terrible, but I had to throw that one in)...we work HARD all our lives for others, and that is a great blessing we have...but we tend to get lost in the shuffle sometimes...we tend to be treated with disrespect sometimes, we tend to be pushed around sometimes, we tend to be devalued BECAUSE people misinterpret the bible to mean we are less than men, we tend to just lie down and take it BECAUSE we put our roles above our humanity...and I say that is NOT what God intended for us!

So, ladies, I'm not being disrespectful to God when I say...TAKE BACK YOUR ROLE AS A WOMAN!!  BE a woman...a separate individual that has many roles, true, but don't FORGET the soft, pretty, wonderful, strong, interesting human that God made in the first place!! Expect respect from those in your life...expect that your children will respect you and ask about you instead of always asking FOR something from you...and do the same with the rest of the people in your life!  If someone in your life is toxic, remove them from your life, if someone hurts you, tell them and help them see your not be a rug that people wipe their feet on, instead be the stain glass window that inspires others by the beauty that is even more beautiful with the light shining in...(and this is a perfect time to make the connection with God's light) (Can't you just hear Helen Reddy singing "I am Woman" right about now?) tee hee But as silly and simplistic as this post has been, it has been in my heart for a long time to remind us all of our value! God sees, to respect Him, we need to love what He created!!

GOD BLESS US Tiny Tim once said! :)