DON'T TOUCH MY PIE!

 

Do you have a person in or around your life that elicits your “fight or flight” response?  I’m sure we all have someone like that, or have had at one time.  Fight or flight in itself is a very healthy response hardwired into us from early in life as a way to protect us from predators.  God built this into us.  Take a few minutes to consider the following passages. They all talk about fighting or fleeing…so, we have a Godly perspective on the subject!

I Cor 6:18 and 10:14; I Tim 6:9-11; James 1:2-5; James 4:7 just to name a few…see if you can find your own.

One Sunday when we were setting up for a pot luck lunch after church I was in the kitchen helping take the food to the tables in our fellowship room.  I came upon a pie sitting there just waiting to be carried.  I went to grab it and a woman; the maker of the pie said in the meanest of tones “Don’t touch my pie”.  It was so harshly spoken it literally took away any words that might have come out of me!  This is the same woman who just sat there when I locked my keys in my car at ladies bible class (a few posts before this).  This woman is known for her harsh tone and attitude.  So, I just walked away.  I didn’t want to get into any kind of war of words with her at that time…so I fled the scene!  While I was driving home several things went through my mind…you know how you always think of what you should have done or said AFTER the fact…some of it not so wise, some of it has Godly principle.  FIRST of all, to bring some humor into my situation I thought I COULD have…SMILED and POKED my finger in her pie and said (in my most innocent of tones)…”What, THIS pie?”…OK, OK…a little passive aggressive…but WOW, what a three stooges kind of moment I would have had!...BUT, I thought some more and decided that it was OK to have just walked away in the face of someone else’s ugliness…BUT, if I had thought about it I COULD have also just said in as gentle a way as possible “Your words sounded so harsh just now.  I don’t think that is a Godly way to talk to anyone”.  Remember my earlier verse from an earlier post…

Leviticus 19: 17-18 "Do not hate your brother in your heart.  Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt. Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.  I am the Lord." 

Seems we have example here…and, it would have diffused the situation if I were to approach her in a gentle but firm way; which would have made me feel less like a worm in her presence.  Sounds like a win, win!  

So, here I am again…a message to myself more than anyone else.  I am getting a big picture here that I just carry away hurt from things that happen instead of standing up and as gently as possible let people know when they are less than kind!  WHEW…do you see the task I have put before myself…WOW, and right before new year’s resolutions are about to come! "OH BOTHER"

(as pooh bear would say)…

KICKED OUT or OSTRACIZED…take your pick! Hunker down, this is a long one…

 "It's a WEB I'll tell ya..." :)

As a bit of a follow up to my last post on judging and spurred on by a comment to my last post I want to expand on the concept of judging. I have two stories for you and then a biblical conclusion.

My children were very small.  We were a family of four at that time…we went down south of town to help start a new congregation.  It was a good group of people…a good experience for my kids…everything seemed to be going well.  The bible was solid from the pulpit, the fellowship was fun…We felt good about being there! YEA…a good beginning!  A few years into our time there my marriage fell apart.  Things happen…it was a bad experience…we all have them…but that isn’t the story (besides I don’t want to rehash things that could hurt those I love)…

Where there is a will there is a way!

ANYHOO…I was out in California for a short time trying to put things back together…and when they couldn’t be I came back…The kids and I returned to this beloved congregation hoping to find peace and fellowship once again with this church family.  Not long after our return I got a visit from some members of this congregation.  (IMPORTANT TO NOTE that there were no elders yet at this little church…so, like I posted earlier we were members worshipping together with no spiritual leaders yet appointed)  These “members” wanted me to tell them the details of my then separation and impending divorce.  I told them that my soul was OK with God and that it would be a scriptural divorce but my kids were in the next room and I didn’t want to tell them any details PLUS, WOW, I was devastated and just needed support…I didn’t want to rehash and the details were none of their business!)   The scripture tells us there is one way that God considers a marriage to be broken with no further ties to one another.  That was my reason.   I was very plainly told that unless I told them the details I was no longer welcome at the church!  KICKED OUT???!!!...WOW…(For effect I invite you to remember the scene in the Jim Carrey movie – “Fun with Dick and Jane” where he very innocently got caught in a scandal and was going to be indicted)…(Remember the scene where he hears about it on the news and he goes a little nuts saying INDICTED, INDICTED, INDICTED over and over??) Well, that was me…only insert KICKED OUT! (and I didn’t go to a bar afterwards) HA…yes, we can find humor in just about everything if we look for it! 

WHAT HAPPENED?  Well, we left that congregation and went to another in town.  I was young…I just ran; full of hurt and shame.  NOT the way it should have gone.  Had I been older and wiser I WOULD have…and I SHOULD have asked them for their scriptural reason for what they were doing to us.  We would have sought the scripture to find their Godly reason.  It would have ended with them finding no scriptural reason for what they were doing.  We might have been able to save that relationship…at least that is what I hope would have happened.  Instead I was judged very harshly; and it wasn’t their place to do so.  Had there been elders I may have told them more, as they would have been responsible for my soul and I would have needed their guidance…but I still do not believe I was obligated to tell details to even them.  I had grown up with these people…they knew my character and my parents character…It should have been enough.  Again, the scripture in Friday’s post will serve here. 

Do you ever just feel like hiding in the bushes??  Yep...I did at that time...

EVENT 2:  a little while later as a single mom I took my children and myself to a little town so I could finish college and get my degree in hopes of providing my children with a better life.  I chose this little town because of the strong church and the Christian college in that town.  (THAT was always my first consideration back then; and would be today were it my decision alone)  The day I decided to finish my degree in a safe place for my kids was when my son was shot at by a neighbor when he was taking out the trash! (another story for another day)…it was the last straw.  We were living in a not so safe area of town near by the secretarial job I had at the time.  I wanted us OUT…and a degree was the only way I could see I could provide for them in a better way.  MORE CHOICES!  

It turned out to be a good place for them as the youth group was strong; the bible was solid from the pulpit, and the college kids were incredible for my kids and me.  The church for me however was not so great.  I learned at that place that judgment was my fate.  I had not been there long before a rumor started that I was seen at bars…and was a…how can I say it nicely…a “tramp”.  FUNNY story to that rumor…as we know rumors are best when there is a bit of truth to them. 

THE REAL STORY WAS THIS:  New in town there was a married woman from church in town who came up to me and befriended me.  NICE!  She asked me if she could take me to a fun place for dinner to get acquainted.  YEA!...a new friend!...So, she picked me up one evening and we ended up In the bar of a hotel on the outskirts of town; about 8 miles from my house.  I was very uncomfortable and shocked that a Christian would think this appropriate!  I gained my composure pretty quickly and turned around (after gawking at the people in various stages of drunkenness) to ask her to take me home and saw her leaving with a man (not her husband) to go upstairs!  WOAH!...Yes, it was less than 10 minutes there!...I was stranded.  I knew almost no one, but had a name of another church person, so I called them and asked if they could come pick me up and take me home ( I explained that it wasn’t my choice of places, but did not repeat the woman’s name who brought me)…I was embarrassed!  This person did…but, in a small town news travels fast…and before you know it a rumor had begun and I was ostracized at church.  When I went to church people would get up and move leaving me the only person on the pew.  Thankfully my kids sat with the youth group so never knew as far as I could tell.  Those were tough times AT a time when I needed the fellowship of my Christian brothers and sisters!  It got better as the years went on…and the Christian kids at the college were wonderful to me as well as my children…but that beginning was HARD.  The ugly monster was judgment!  Please insert all the scripture from my last post here…we have no right.  THIS is the kind of judgment we are taught NOT to exercise.  The truth of the matter is…if ANYONE had been interested in knowing the truth…they could have a)…asked me (no one ever did)…or b)…come to visit me (only college kids and a couple college professors came by)…because when I wasn’t working or studying I was sitting on my porch swing right out in plain view!  For three and a half years…That swing got some use I’ll tell you!

Read Romans 15: 5-7 “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of UNITY among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with ONE heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.  ACCEPT one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”

I’ve been asked by my friends who I’ve shared these stories with WHY I didn’t leave the church.  My answer is always the same.  As I read the scripture I learn that there is only one true church; Christ’s church. Read Ephesians 4:1-5…(which also speaks to unity with one another…giving us guidelines as to how we should be with one another…specifically vs. 2 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient; bearing with one another in love”) Christ is the head of His church and from everything I see and read and study I was a part of that. WHY would I leave and go elsewhere if I believed I was in the one true church?  Besides…it was the members…the humans; making human mistakes that was behaving the way they were…that wasn’t God’s fault!  It still hurts, and it shapes a person, but I still want to serve God in the way He wants me to…so on I go.

AND THE SUN ALWAYS COMES UP!!

With my added years of life, and my added years of study I want to stay and try to find my responsibilities to the church family I now belong to and help us all to understand that people can be damaged when we judge.  Hopefully we will all find our way together as God intended.

JUDGE BUT DO NOT JUDGE??? WHAT???

 DO NOT TURN YOUR BACK ON YOUR BROTHER

 Leviticus 19: 17-18 "Do not hate your brother in your heart.  Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt. Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.  I am the Lord."

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about these two words JUDGMENT AND DISCERNMENT (RIGHT JUDGMENT)…what they mean…what is right to be and do.  As I have been reading I’ve tried to find a simple way to define and talk about each. In our world we so often shy away from saying things because we fear we will be judgmental.  The scriptures talk about a right judgment.  What does that mean to us as Christians?  We certainly do not want to be someone that God does not want us to be; but the flip side is we want to be wise and discerning in our Christian walk.  This is in no way a comprehensive look at these terms, but it is a beginning.  It is my hope, as always, that I learn just what God expects of me.  If I have misrepresented any of this information and anyone has a better answer I hope you will share it!

Jesus said in Matthew 7:1-2  “Do not judge or you will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”  He goes on to talk about judging someone who has a speck in their eye when we have a plank in our own eye.  This kind of judging is hypocritical!  In this type of judgment we do not have command or example to do so.  If we condemn a man for doing something we may be doing (refer to the speck and the plank) we bring condemnation on ourselves.  Romans 2:1-3 “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.  Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth.  So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment?”  This is NOT saying we may not cast out the mote from a brother’s eye, but we are told to take the plank out of our own eye…it is only then that we can even see to take the speck out of our brother’s eye.

We see that there is, however, a righteous judgment spoken about it scripture.  John 7:24 “Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment.”   What is this?  It seems to contradict the other scriptures, but we know that can’t be…so just what IS a righteous judgment?   This is a spiritual discernment.  If I understand it correctly it means we are to take and learn the information God has for us and decide about what is right or wrong.  This decision is healthy and good…it keeps us safe from false prophets and those who are evil in our midst.  An example of this is found in Paul’s words to the church at Corinth in I Corinthians 5: 9-13; specifically the phrase in verse 11: “But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler.  With such a man do not even eat.”  This is a right judgment.

There is a big difference between spiteful judging and spiritual discernment. We are commanded to use discernment; we are to distinguish between false things and true things. WHAT DO WE ACTUALLY DO ABOUT IT?  Well, from my study thus far I can pull some other scripture into this.  For the right judgment it is to keep the church free of those who live in sin and false prophets.  We can see this in the scriptures above. (and many others we can find)  

WHAT ABOUT THOSE OUTSIDE OF CHURCH?  I keep thinking about scripture that talks about light and darkness.  Sin is darkness.  Read  2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.  For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?  Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” This is a very clear statement about associating with those who practice darkness.  I am not saying that we may not associate with those outside of Christianity, but we are to be careful that we do not conform to the world in these associations.  Romans 12:2 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.” The strength we gain to live Christian lives lies in our close associations with other Christians; we can gain strength for the battles of this world!

This is why it is so important to cultivate and correct and help to grow our associations with our Christian brothers and sisters, and why it is so important to find answers when things aren't right within our church body.  It is  WHY I felt a need to start this blog in the first place.  When things are not right we need to discern and study and help one another in love!

"SOME OF US HAVE TO WORK"

As I read through things I’ve have written I can see how it can be seen that I have allowed myself to feel like a victim at times.  I HATE THAT!  I am the only one that allows me to feel this way!  It is the one of the reasons I started this blog.  God has answers for everything we encounter.  He created us; He loves us; He only wishes for our good!  Matthew 7:7-12 is a good passage to read for this:  vs 9: “Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? And then down in verse 11:  “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much MORE will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” We are God’s children…we are sons and daughters of the King.  How awesome is that!   We, who belong to God, need to ask for good things.  A whole study could be made to discover what “good things” are…but for today we can state that they are things that will further our purpose here…things that make us whole and righteous in God’s sight.  Being an undamaged person would be good for us, and for God; because it is only then that we can be true servants of His.  Keep your eye on the prize; know what the prize is…and then re read this passage!

We are also called to unity with our Christian brothers and sisters.  Galations 3:26 “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus” and in vs 28 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus”. (Paul speaking to the church at Galatia). And then Paul in Romans when talking about how we should behave like Christians says in chapter 12:16 “Be of the same mind toward one another.  Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble.  Do not be wise in your OWN opinion”.  {This is by NO means comprehensive…there are things like this throughout that give us a WHOLE picture of what we are to do and be…these are just passages that have come to my mind…I invite you to further study this concept and find others!} 

With all that in mind comes the point of today.  After a few failed attempts at finding a way to be a part of the congregation where we were I was thinking one day that the women of the congregation could use some activity or association with one another so we could become closer as a family of women in our little congregation.  Ladies class had disbanded, and we didn’t all live near one another (a mountain community…some 30 miles away), so I was thinking we needed fellowship together on some sort of regular basis.  The men were getting together to watch Monday night football, so why not us?  I’m ALL for everyone fellowshipping, and we did that every month for pot luck and one couple hosted who ever wanted to come to breakfast on Saturday mornings; all good stuff…but we women were failing to be a cohesive group.  Some in the group were having difficulties in life and were lonely…so, a great idea right??  YES!  

 SO, one Sunday during potluck I approached several women who were sitting together at a table and broached that very subject.  It went something like this…”Hey girls, wouldn’t it be great if we could all get together and do something together once a month or at least once a quarter, just us girls?”  We could go shopping and stop for lunch, or have an activity at say my house…just something fun so we could all get closer”…”We could even take turns and meet at each other’s houses when the men get together to watch football”…the first comment out of the mouth of one of the women was “I never get to be in the house by myself, so when my husband goes to the football I enjoy the time alone”…OK…I can understand that…so I tried again…”So, then maybe we could all meet once a month in town and…”  was cut off there…that was too often…so, again I tried “What about at least every quarter?”…and the answer I got from this same woman was “Some of us have to work”…"ouch"

SIDE NOTE:  I lost my teaching job then, two years before,  and was working at home on my art; and crafts; trying to put together a cohesive body of work to sell…I’d say I work at it every day of the week for several hours in between the other responsibilities we all have as homemakers and those trying to help our husbands…I believe that is called a helpmeet…tee hee…During the time I found myself unemployed  on a full time basis I had painted over 100 pieces, set up a website, an art blog, taught workshops (for pay) for various art groups around town, taught demo’s for art guilds (for pay), worked as a substitute teacher (for pay) and was asked to write an article on a new art method I’d developed (for pay)for a book , which led to another article in a national art magazine (for pay).

This statement was directed at me…hmmm…WHY?  WOW, that was a slap in the face!  WOW, the very reason I had broached the subject of getting closer…we weren’t connected as a group of women in Christ!  DID THAT SHUT DOWN THE CONVERSATION OR WHAT!!  YEP…I found myself just scooping up what was left of my feelings and quickly making some sort of joke and changing the subject…LIKE I ALWAYS SEEM TO DO!  SHAME ON ME!

Regardless of what someone else says or does it does not relieve us of our responsibility to ourselves or to each other!  “If your brother sins against you…” Matthew 18:15 as I wrote in an earlier article.  WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE was go to this woman and talk to her…tell her that her harsh and seemingly unfeeling attitude towards me hurt me…and talk it through to get back to the “one mind” state that we are supposed to have with our fellow Christians!  I could have found out that it wasn’t at all what I thought…IF I had done what I should have done, what I have direction in the bible to do I wouldn’t have let that hurt pile on to the others…SHEESH…when will we ever learn!

SO, that is another thing I have on my list of things to grow to do!  See how, if we don’t do what God says, things can get big?!  

Later on a friend I’ve had for nearly 30 years came to me and “explained” “That is just her”…WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?  Is there some sort of permission we have in scripture that excuses behavior as just being part of a personality a person has??  Yep, you know the answer to that…  And on we go!

PS...no ducks' feelings were hurt during the telling of this story...:)

THE THREE QUESTIONS

 we reflect ourselves through our behavior...THAT's how one knows a person!!

God has a reason for every word He left us, whether it is in the form of a story or parable that gives us examples, or a commandment.  It is a very unwise person who would argue with His wisdom.  He commanded us to study; for a reason.  “Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15 (King James) We can listen to others and learn and gain insight, but it does not relieve us of the responsibility of studying for ourselves.  Ultimately we will answer for what we do or do not do….regardless of what others do or do not do.  

After my husband and I had been worshiping with a certain congregation for several months one of the men came up to my husband and asked him if we were going to place membership.  This particular congregation had no elders; it was just a group of Christians meeting together; worshiping together.  They were a young congregation that had not yet acquired elders.  We had begun to get involved and enjoyed the people and felt good about the sermons that we had heard (scripturally sound) and the biblical approach up to that point that many of the members seemed to have.  A side note here is that every church is commanded to have elders as part of the structure that God desires in a congregation.  In I Timothy and Titus Paul directs that elders are necessary (Remember all scripture is inspired by God, so if it is in there…God wanted it there) (2 Timothy 3:16) …we have example and command for elders.  Elders are appointed; must fit certain criteria which reflect moral, spiritual and ethical behavior and are there as overseers for the church.  They are responsible for the members. If anyone has any questions about the need for elders or wishes to have more information, please contact me and I’ll do my best to help!...

ANYHOO…I bring up elders as an important point to this story.  IF there are no elders established at a church there is no one under which to place ourselves….we are merely a group of Christians meeting together to worship and move in the direction of setting up our autonomous congregation as God told us to do.  I understand that they wanted to know if we wanted to worship with them in a more permanent way.  That is logical.  At that point we most definitely wanted to worship with them.  When my husband told them yes…thus began the concern.

Apparently the men had gotten together and decided that before we could place “membership” with them we needed to answer three questions.  WHAT?  My first question was where in scripture do you get authority or example or command that we must answer three questions before we can “place membership”?  I’ll give you a quick answer…it isn’t there.  In case you are curious as I was….the three questions were 1.  Are you a Christian?  2.  How were you baptized? and 3.  Do you have a scriptural marriage?  At least this is how I remember them.  In all actuality it doesn’t really matter WHAT the questions were…they had no scriptural basis for asking them as a requirement we must complete before we could “place membership”.  BE CAREFUL!  If you ever experience something regarding God’s plan for us and you hear people talk about expedience (that isn’t scriptural either if it is not a direct command or example from God)…”There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death” Proverbs 16:25 (a book full of wisdoms and guidelines for living a true Christian life) it is also stated in Proverbs 14:12.  Who are we to decide that something is expedient when we lean on our own understanding.

As we look at what man sees as “expedient” we can usually see quite quickly problems with our worldly plans and ideas.  For this particular situation, what would stop a person from just lying about their state of Christianity or marriage?  Instead, we can look to scripture to find out about people who come together as Christians in a natural way; God’s way.  “Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.”  Proverbs 20:11 (more wisdom from Proverbs)  and look at Matthew 7:16 where  Matthew is talking about false prophets…”By their fruit you will recognize them.” It seems pretty clear that we will out ourselves if we will show our true selves to others by our actions.  

IF there were elders the situation would have been different.  Elders are our overseers; they have a responsibility in kind for our spiritual well being.  If an elder had asked me some questions to get to know me better; to understand how he could be of help in my spiritual walk I would not have an issue in talking to him.  HOWEVER, I still question whether or not any man would have a right to tell me I could not “place membership” with a congregation if I did not answer “Three Questions”.  I just don’t find it there.  But, if I am truly wanting to worship with a congregation that has elders I would want to give them all the tools they would need to help them in their heavy responsibility!  

WHAT HAPPENED was I (I feel it not right to speak for my husband here…thus the I instead of the we) made my concerns known.  I said I would not answer questions of my fellow Christians in order to “place membership”.  I also said that I had been an open book since my arrival there and had already talked about my life and my Christianity and in effect, they already had answers to their “three questions”.  That was a natural occurrence in the process of getting to know one another. That was a natural byproduct of our fellowship together. 

In the end, at one of the men confessed that when the practice was set into place he knew it was wrong even though he agreed they should do it.  He apologized and as far as I know the practice was dropped.  I didn’t ask specifically, but we ended up being “members”.  How did I know?  We were in the church directory! HA 

And life goes on…

AND THEY JUST SAT THERE

 

I love this picture of my "not a morning bird"...but he is grouchy looking...this is the way I remember the face of this one person...(yes, you know...like how we remember a lot of things...scarier and meaner than they probably really were...:))

I thought I’d start my musings and wonderings and searchings with something not SO volatile…although do not be fooled…there are all sorts of things that; at first glance; seem innocuous…but, beware they harbor truth and often give one a glimpse of what is inside a person…SPOOKY!...The trick is to be clued in and then give them a second chance before you decide if a person is safe or not FOR YOU!  Not everyone is going to like you…not everyone is going to agree with you…duh!   But, we do have a set of guidelines on how to live, how to treat each other that no one should argue with…and that is set firmly in the principles that God gave us to live by. And the bible says…”By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35

I had been a member of a new congregation for a short time when the ladies decided to start a ladies bible class.  “Yea” I thought…my Christian sisters and I all getting together to study God’s word and how it applies to us…”Right up my alley”…so off I went, full of dreams of sugar plums dancing in my head. 

I believe it was the second time we met for class when I noticed a little something odd…A woman had come who was crying…was sharing some things that were hurting her heart…and one of the women running the study said something to the effect “We don’t have time for that now, we need to stay on track with our study”…WOAH…wait a minute…what are we supposed to be for one another…??  And the bible says…”Carry each other’s burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” Galatians 6:2  That was my first clue that something wasn’t right in Denmark!  BUT, that’s not my main story (however I did find the woman later and hug her and ask if she needed anything)…SO

It was a couple of class times later (no, the woman who was crying never came back that I remember) that I accidentally locked my car keys in my car (well, I suppose we would never do that on purpose).  OUCH…my husband was out of town and we lived about 8 miles away.  I was so distressed and told the two or three women who had already gotten there what I had done…thinking…”I’m in a safe place with my Christian sisters…so not to worry someone will take me home to get my extra set of keys…”…INSTEAD all I got were blank stares; (specifically from one particular woman who will come up again at a later date!) and a suggestion that I should call a lock smith or a taxi!(made by this one particular woman)  

AND THEY JUST SAT THERE! (the pause was so long I could have almost sung the Happy Birthday song during that time…but I didn’t) OUCH again!  I was shocked!  Hmmm…I wonder if the Galatians passage would fit here as well??  Well, what is a woman in distress supposed to do?  I didn’t have a quick answer for myself then, but to get a phone book (which they didn’t help me find either…I had to dig around and go downstairs to ask at the front desk of the establishment we were meeting in for a phone book or the number of a taxi service) and look for taxi services.  There was only one in our area, so I called and was told it would be a few minutes.  WHEW…at least I wasn’t going to be stranded!  

When the taxi arrived I ran out and gave the driver directions…all the while babbling about what I had done and thanking him for coming so quickly.  He asked me why I had to call him when he could see several women inside and cars in the parking lot.  I told him they didn’t offer to help; they had suggested I call him.  He asked me what type of group it was.  I told him a ladies bible class.  You HAVE to know the very next thing he asked…”What kind of church do you belong to where no one would help you out in a tight spot?”  “What is the name of this church?”  Embarrassed I told him and he said “Well, it isn’t a church I would belong to if this is the way a person gets treated”  OUCH again…!  

The rest is simple, and not so simple.  He drove me home and I got my extra keys and he drove me back and I paid him (he gave me some of it back because he felt sorry for me…thanks Mr. Taxi driver) and made the quick decision to just get in my car and go home instead of returning to class.  I mean just how much would I have ingested had I gone back in..cuz I was hurt and angry and embarrassed at that point.

SO, what should I have done?  What answers can I give myself to help me to know what would have been the Godly thing to do to straighten out what was in my heart at that point?  First of all I was not wrong to just leave.  People are people; with all their “stuff” and reasons for being what they are, but we are a child of the King, and we are not under any obligation to go back and let someone wipe their feet on us over and over…We are expected to be dignified and gentle in spirit, (which does NOT mean timid look at 2 Timothy 1:7…”For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline)…hmmm…I’m coming to an answer of sorts I THINK!

Was their behavior a sin?  I am not sure except that it doesn’t display a servants heart…aren’t we supposed to have a servants heart? I think so…what about…Ephesians 6:7, Galatians 5:13, I Peter 4: 10-11.  But, was it a sin?  I can’t say that yet (it’s hard for me)…I can say it was hurtful, selfish (seemingly so), leaving me hanging out there…I’m not going to say it was a sin…I can’t say it…not yet…but it hurt my feelings…What I can say is that it did not seem that they showed a servant’s heart at that point. 

BUT, WHAT ABOUT ME?  What was my responsibility?  I can read Matthew 18:15 which says “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.  If he listens to you,  you have won your brother over.”  That scripture is referring to a sin against you…a little dicey (looking at it from a person who HATES to believe people are ugly on purpose)…but what is the overall PRINCIPLE of the thing… If I understand what God really wants of us I believe the right thing would have been for me to go to them and tell them they hurt me…clear the air…find out the facts of WHY they did not offer to help in any way…

NOW DID I DO THAT?  Sorry, but no.  SHOULD I HAVE?  I think so.  And, I think I still need to do so…Only NOW it has gotten quite complicated and things have piled up…behavior upon behavior…of which I will refer to in coming days…

What did I actually DO?  Well, since I didn’t really know any of them really well I just decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they did not mean to be so cold (how I took it).  I let it go, hoping it was a onetime thing…little did I know…sheesh!  Had that been the only event I think I would have eventually laughed it off.  There have been other incidents since then, and THAT is why I believe I took it to heart…oh bother (as Pooh Bear would say!)

Oh yes...remember what I said at the beginning...yep, this seemingly innocuous event did give me a clue of what was to come...

WHY?

 ...ain't it always the way...there always seems to be a little cloud above our heads...

My need for this blog has been coming for a long time.  We all go through struggles in life from time to time...God says we will face trials; further; we are to count it all joy when we do...(James 1:2)...WHY?...well, I know one thing...we are told that we grow in times of trial (James 1:12)...we all want to grow, right?  Yes...sometimes I say I have had enough growth...all I want is some peace...a rest...And, that is ok. It's ok here, and it's ok with God...He loves us...He gives us opportunities to find that peace that passes all understanding...He gives it to us if we ask...(Philippians 4:6-7) and some other places!

I'm here in this place right now BECAUSE I am having difficulties with my specific trials. To bring my first photo into this...a few clouds are hanging above my head right now!  I'm here because I want to talk about them...in as general a way as possible...no names here; cept mine...but the stories, the events, the situations will be real...every day real.  Hopefully sharing the Christian principles I pull from study and discussion (and I may learn from some of you) (and then more study) will help...Help me...but help someone else out there who may be struggling with similar issues.  Sometimes I'm going to be angry...hurt...sad...BUT, I want to get to the smile at the end!!

You are welcome to comment here...but I want to remind you that I will not publish any comments that are inappropriate or threatening or abusive...duh! WHY NOT...cuz it might hurt someone else, and it's my blog...:) HA...yes, it's ok to share, but share nicely please! No names...cept yours...:)

I invite anyone who wants to study issues, find Godly answers and a way to grow to be better Christians -  to share...we can all learn and grow from each other!  And, OH yes...if the situations that are written about sound familiar...my prayer is that we can learn from these things, and hopefully use it as a way to understand the hurts we can impose on others and grow to be better with each other.  I assure you; yes YOU out there...that not only will I be talking about things that have interfered with my ability to be the best I can be...but, I will be talking to myself as much as others; what I may have done better!  What would be the point if I didn't learn to be a better Christian woman myself!!

I'm going to let this grow and morph as I go along...I hope you will stop by now and then to find out how I can try to infuse humor with the painful reality!  WHEW...Check back for my first topic tomorrow!  GOD BLESS!