I Peter 3:16-17 "Having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil"
At one time or another I find myself searching out souls that may give wise counsel on top of my own wisdom (that I have prayed for) James 1:5 " If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him" .in order to find balance, JUST in case I may be using tunnel vision. Such was the case not so long ago. I called our new preacher and asked if myself and another person that needed the counsel as well could come by to study a scripture. This preacher had taken over for the one that was in the congregation that kicked me out...but they told me they were not aware of what happened back then...CAN YOU SEE MY FIRST MISTAKE IN THIS SCENARIO?...anyhoo...on with the story...
The problem I was having with this other person in my life had been going on for quite some time and I was seeking simple study to help us find a scriptural baseline with which to begin again...
Long story short, for two hours we never opened the bible...it became a witch hunt for lack of better terminology...and I was the "witch". I found myself defending myself; explaining things that I should not have had to explain...things which had nothing to do with the subject at hand...I kept trying to stop it and kept repeating "We are just here to study a subject, not for counseling"...sigh...all the while I kept screaming inside..."Just stop Saundra..."...but it took me two hours to get to the point where I stood up and said I needed to leave; that this is not what I had asked for, not what was told to me we were going to do. The things they said had made the situation worse, and there was NO scriptural basis for their behavior. sigh again!
Needless to say it was a bad deal all around. I was so upset, and not sure why a preacher would refuse to open a bible and study...that was a first for me.
After that encounter, and after much thought about the approach these two people had taken with me I realized they had an agenda that I was not aware of. I should have been smarter in my choice and as I began to look at their behavior in unrelated matters I was kicking MYSELF for not being smarter. My only defense was...how can someone mess up opening a bible and studying God's word...silly girl!
The story doesn't end here...I decided that with that type of judgement and ugliness, on top of some other concerns I had with them about they way they approached studying with people and baptizing them that it was not a good place to be, so decided at that time to stay away from that congregation for a time and refill my pitcher...meaning...heal my jangled nerves and heart! The other person in this story decided to continue going there which was a problem...sigh...trying to keep names out of this story!
The next Sunday I got a call from this preacher's wife. She was not calling to apologize but to ask for more information and tell me how wrong I was...? WHAT?...call me confused! I told her what I felt had gone wrong and told her I was very upset and was trying to get some space from the situation so I could handle things properly. Be angry and sin not Ephesians 4:26...
THAT didn't stop it...a few days later I got a letter from her. It was more an avenue she took with which to beat on me some more...and I found out that the preacher who had been a part of the kicking my children and myself out had told them about me and said not to welcome me back...THERE WAS A LIE IN THERE...they had previously told me they had no knowledge of what had happened to me back 21 years earlier...She began to offer unsolicited advice and to tell me I was wrong...and to explain that it is ok for preachers to share things about their church members...
There were so many judgments in that letter I can't begin to name them...but the point is what was the purpose of that letter? Are we not told to love one another...John 15:17, are we told not to gossip Romans 1:29b-32, are we told not to lie and what God thinks of those who do Colossians 3:9?
Further I have since found out that there have been many judgmental and slanderous things said about me that as far as I can determine have stemmed back from that event some 21 years earlier! I didn't know it, but I was judged and talked about and was essentially dead in the water from the beginning! how many times can a girl sigh!
I wish I would learn that people are people, and IF they do not let God lead their lives this will happen over and over...I think I have learned it. It makes for a lonely life if one wants to live a Godly life and have fun with his fellow Christian brothers and sisters...
My response to all of this will be no response at all. Why?...well, I've learned the sinful nature of all involved, and I've learned they are only out for information with which to judge and treat me harshly. I've learned that what they did had nothing to do with the way God commanded us to be with one another. I need to get to a place where I can love their souls and pray for them Matthew 5:44. I see wolves in sheeps clothing...I see that because I have chosen not to give juicy details that will be spread about I will be judged. But, I was thinking the other day about Jesus; who we are to try to be like; and He never defended himself.
I'm sure this will lead to more discovery as time goes on...so, pray for me, pray for people in this world who misapply scripture to excuse their own bad behavior...and move forward...move forward...Love God, Love your brother's souls, live with all men peacefully as you can... Romans 12:18.
God Bless!
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