When you crush the spirit of a woman who strives to be a Godly woman, you kill what she can do and be for you and for God.  When you leave her afraid and broken; unsure of her place with you in this world you damage her ability to be effective in any area.

Proverbs 15:4 - "Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit."

A woman's heart lives foremost and forever tied to your impression of her.  She lives as God made her; a nurturing and gentle hearted spirit that wants to please and do what God made her to do.

                        Is your heart an ocean so strong and deep,
                        I may launch my all on its tide?
                        A loving woman finds heaven or hell
                        On the day she becomes a bride.  Lena Lathrop

I Peter 3:7 – “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

When you invalidate her talents by your harsh thinking of her and/or your blunt words to her you invalidate her humanity as God made her.

When you speak harshly to her because you want her to be something other than what God made her to be, you hurt her heart, and she is much less capable of doing what she was meant to do.

Colossians 3:19 - “Husbands love your wives and do not speak harshly to them.”

Again…I Peter 3:7

When you take away the intimacy that God told you she needed, you make her feel less than a woman; less human; less valuable in every area of life...for she is tied forevermore through the strings of what makes her string cannot be easily separated from another.  She is damaged. If you shred her dignity; you break her in ways you may not be able to repair.

When you leave her wondering why; when you tell her to shut up and leave you alone you take away the purpose she was created for as a wife.  When you take away her voice by responding cruelly or by not focusing on her fully when she needs you, you take away the only way she has of defending her heart; of expressing her sorrows; you render her virtually helpless. For a woman has only her voice to defend her against the slings and arrows.

Colossians 3:19 - “Husbands love your wives and do not speak harshly to them.”

When you tell her no other women would do or be or say what she just did or was or said you make her feel alien in this world; you leave her crippled.

When you lie to her you shake her belief in people; for in her heart you are her shining knight and if YOU of all people would do this to her; then what does she have to tell her it is safe anywhere; where can she go and still hold her Christian virtue and find the comfort and safety she so needs?

Proverbs 12:22 – “Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.”

When you seem irritated or bored with her she feels inadequate; this leads to feelings of inadequacy in all areas. 

When she goes to bed alone night after night you are in effect telling her that whatever you are doing instead of being with her is more important.  She looses her value in your eyes, and eventually in her own.

I Corinthians 7:3-5 – “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

When a woman who seeks after God is not given her place with her husband that God created her for, her spirit dies and she can become more of what the world might value; hard in her estimation of everything.  She becomes independent in ways that are not healthy...survival becomes her main goal, and the ways she may seek to survive most likely will not be in alignment with what God wants her to do. For there is only one way that God said is right and good, and if her strength and safety and compassion cannot be found with her husband she will die; maybe not physically, but most certainly in all ways that God holds dear. 

A husband is given a gift in a Godly wife.  If he throws her away by not treating her as God commanded he has killed her in every way that is good and valuable.

Where is the voice for women like this today?  Where is the courageous one who will speak for these women who are waiting for someone who will have the voice that has been taken so thoroughly from her?  

If you know a woman who has come to you and asked for help and you do nothing you are in essence calling her a liar and you are a coward! If none are so courageous and she rises up and speaks then DO NOT in your lack of courage silence her.

Galatians 6:1 - "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted."


  1. A most wonderful post, Saundra. As are the previous posts. Thank you...