HOW TO REALLY FORGIVE...AND WHY IT'S IMPORTANT!

For quite some time now I have dealt largely with the things that people have done to me over a course of time, and what the scriptures say. I'm sure over the course of these posts I've talked about forgiveness.  But, the whole time I've read these scriptures and written all these words I've held in my heart a knowledge that I haven't been able to  forgive some people...that leaves a hole in the WHOLE concept of being Christian, being a woman after God...doing what I've been asked to do.

Matthew 6:14 is an important reason why forgiveness is important for us to practice...:  "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." and Luke 6:36 tells us "Be merciful just as your Father is merciful" OK, yep, I want to be forgiven...sooooo  That's a biggie.  The concept is not just to be forgiven...it is for our well being, our hearts to stay soft and Godly...OK, so if I need to forgive BUT I am having difficulty...what else is there for me to understand?

Luke 6:38 "Give, and it will be given to you.  A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap.  For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." WOW, there really IS something in there for me...tee hee...Is THAT why we should forgive??  Hmmm I'm sort of thinking that's not really the reason...I'm moving on, through this...follow me if you can follow my brain...:)

So, for me, when I have a decision to make between choices MY personality is to say the things I don't want and eventually I'll eliminate everything until I get to what I actually want...perhaps a long process, but I guess my brain works backwards...artist and all I guess...SOOOO Let's just look at this practically!  Here is a list of what I DON'T want when I DON'T forgive...

To feel like I have isolated myself from everyone...BECAUSE remember We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23 so, when I don't forgive it sort of seems like I think I am better than everyone else...and that gets me ALONE, ALL BY MYSELF...looking from my self imposed place of ALONENESS at the rest of the world moving along.

OK, I also DON'T want to have the poison of UN forgiveness in my heart because it feels bad to ME, it hovers over my life and I begin to feel depressed and I stay ANGRY and I am not who I know GOD made me to be...It shadows life...it can make me SICK...and then I'm STILL stuck looking out the window at life passing by...it makes me STUCK!  and not in a joyful place I'm here to tell you!!

I also know I don't want to be seen as an angry, vengeful, negative person, and that is what I would be if I get stuck without forgiveness in my heart...I want to be a light of positive in the world...so, if I can't do that when I have the cloud of UN forgiveness then I must BE A LIGHT...of joy, of example, of happiness in the face of trial, of FORGIVENESS...for ME to be a better person, for GOD, for me, FOR ALL THOSE OUT THERE WHO NEED TO BE FORGIVEN!

But you know what...there truly is more in forgiveness...it may help the OTHER person to think twice before they do something that is hurtful to someone else. Sometimes through the act of forgiviness it may help the other person to grow...the bible talks about heaping coals on their head...WHY would it be in there??  Well, it seems it might help them to feel a little remorse so they might be led to be a better person the next time around...   Romans 12:20 - "On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him, if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." hmmm... helping BOTH of us at the same time...ISN'T GOD AWESOME!!  

Here's a little thing I do when I need to forgive someone...It works best if I have known that person for awhile.  I imagine them as they have grown up, I usually know stories they have told me that impacted them...so, I imagine them going through those things in their life.  EVERYONE has had tragedy, EVERYONE has had trial and hurtful events.  When I can imagine them going through those things as a child or young person I can SEE why they may have become the way they have that led them to hurt me in some way...and THAT understanding helps me to forgive them...to see them not as a rolling force of evil in my life, but a flawed human that makes mistakes too. (remember Romans 3:23)  And, THAT understanding helps me to understand why Romans 12:20 is intended to help the other person to come around...

And, for those folks that I'm still stuck on, unable to feel forgiveness towards???  Yep, there's a couple out there...I have to allow myself to feel the grace that God gives me so freely.  He KNOWS my heart...He KNOWS I am trying to be what He wants me to be...He KNOWS I struggle with this...So, I remember that He gave me the gift of grace and I forgive MYSELF my failing and I trust that I WILL GET THERE eventually...because I WANT to. Read 2 Cor. 9:8 in several different translations and see if it doesn't make more sense WHY we need God's grace, and what it does for us!!...I like the way this version says it, but grace is the subject even though the words isn't there..."God can bless you with everything you need, and you will always have more than enough to do all kinds of good things for others"...THAT is a GIFT! And you know the awesome thing...GOD forgives you when you ask to be forgiven for not being able to forgive...WOW!!


There have been a couple of people of late that I have had such difficulty with in my heart for things from YEARS ago...(wow, the chains I've been carrying around!!)  Over time my hurt and resentment had grown big...so, I took a chance and reached out to that person.  I didn't say hurtful, ugly things from anger...I just told them how I felt, and why they had a part.  And you know...they told me they were SORRY...and asked what they could do to help make it better!!  THAT gave THEM the chance to make it right...THAT was important for THEM!  and...it cleared the way to forgiveness.  (It won't always happen like that, but when it does...WOW...the power of clearing the air in a Godly way!) God's plan is a perfect one...its we humans that make messes...And THAT is why I'm SO grateful for God's grace...that He gives out so FREELY!

PS...I hope those out there that I have hurt, unknowingly, (cuz I work actively on asking for forgiviness when I KNOW I've hurt someone) will come to me and give me a chance to be forgiven!!

GOD BLESS!