GUILT!...

I've been thinking about this topic for a very long time.  It's a hard one for me as I seem to feel guilty about a lot of things.  When it became SO VERY HEAVY for me to carry anymore I began to question WHY I often felt so guilty.NO, .why I often FEEL so guilty.  I began to search the scripture on what is said about guilt.  And, as any good teacher I sort of broke it down. 

GUILT 1: it's that actual stuff we can touch...You know when you break a law...you are GUILT'y" of breaking a law...simple, but...well...true! As far as God is concerned, I think of scriptures like Romans 3:23 - "...all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" ok...we are guilty; all of us, guilty of sin at one time or another...or all the time!  So, that guilt just seems to be objective.  You can see it, feel it, touch it, read about it...and WE ALL DO IT!...

I see scripture in James 2:10 - "whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it" and if I stop there I am FREAKED out! WOA!...in Romans we see that all have sinned and fallen short...and in James we are pretty much in the ground with the dirt shoveled over us if we stop there...MORE OBJECTIVE GUILT.  But, if you study it, as I'm sure many have and MUCH more thoroughly than I, you will see that it is speaking about the concept that if you keep all the law and break the law in one area, well, you are still guilty of that one break and may have consequences. OH...when it is put like that it ain't so...impossible to overcome! WHEW!

SO, that is the stuff you can touch...but, what about the more slippery type of guilt...that stuff that is 2. SUBJECTIVE...something that is more open to interpretation...something that is harder to grasp.  This is that psychological type of guilt where you have stepped on someone's idea of what is right and wrong instead of an established, written in BOLD rule that society sets up called LAW.

You can imagine what I am talking about...there is always someone in life, and sometimes many someones that use this little bit of control to kind of "mold" you to their will (or their own perscribed way of looking at the world and what is right and wrong in THEIR eyes).... and I say to this a big ole "NO"!!! And, the sad part is, you may not even realize that you can say "no" to this kind of manipulation! It's hard sometimes to stand up for yourself...you may feel like you are bad or wrong if you actually take care of yourself in certain situations. I know in my own life it seems I'm hardwired to put myself aside if someone seems to need me. Hmmm...why is that?  Well, that is a LONG story, but the short of it is the real question I should be asking myself is "what will this do to me if I cave in to guilt?" and, the answer is..."NOTHING GOOD".  That is the falacy of guilt manipulation.  It really doesn't serve a good purpose.  It may get a result that LOOKS good on the outside, but the truth is INSIDE it is all ugly and breeds resentment and anger. 

SO, the bible doesn't say much directly about the second, more scary kind of guilt; the psychological kind of guilt.  NOT DIRECTLY.  But it does talk about how we should treat each other in life.  Let's see...The first scripture that I think of is Matthew 7:12 - "In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the prophets" SO, if we want respect; and we all do I delicately surmise, then we are to treat others in the same way with respect...do not use guilt tactics to get what you want...respect each other with the truth, and if they feel they can be there for you then great, if not, then at least there is honesty and respect between you. 

If a person is given a choice to love another human from an honest place with no strings attached, then when they come to you it is from love and truth.  If guilt is used to get what you want, or even feel like you need, you may get your "way" for a time, but it won't be from the same place of respect and honsety, and eventually you will have nothing like what you want. And, more importantly, the relationship will be based on a lie.

NOW, before any of you (or me) beats upon the old heart strings with GUILT about NOT being able to fight the evils of guilt feelings associated with one person or another, be KIND to youself...be GENTLE with yourself...It is a tough world out there, and you are fighting an evil kind of manipulation...(the act, not necessarily the person behind the act) so, just take those baby steps as you can, and try to find good people who will love you a little (without judgement) so you feel strong enough to love yourself into a healthier way of being GOOD TO YOURSELF...and then, and ONLY then, you can be there for others in a HEALTHY way!!

GOD BLESS!!